I think I can safely say that we’ve all read/watched at least ONE thing about ‘The Five Stages of Fangirling’. And they are funny and accurate and #sorelatable, but… has anyone really delved into this topic? THERE IS SO MUCH CRAZINESS TO BE EXPLORED.
So I’ve had the brilliant thought to create a blog series about The Five Stages of
Fangirling Obsession, because let’s be real: we’re not casual fans, we’re psychotic stalkers who buy merchandise at an alarmingly fast rate.
LET US BEGIN.
For the first stage, I’ve decided to hit upon a topic that I’m sure we can all relate to: people obsessions. No matter if your thing is singers, actors, musicians, writers, body-builders, athletes, scholars… you will be dying of #relatableness once we go through this list. *and no fictional characters allowed, that’s for another post*
1. realizing they exist
There are many different ways to come across new
people crushes. You could be trolling through Tumblr, endlessly scrolling downwards, LOLing and reblogging and hating. But then, you see this gif:
WHO IS THIS MAJESTIC DISNEY PRINCE?! WHY IS HE CONFUSED?! HOW CAN I HELP HIM?!?
Or maybe your friends get you hooked on someone. I personally have three of my closest friends to thank for my growing obsession with Benedict Cumberbatch and Brendon Urie. But shhh, don’t tell them… They already think I’m crazy enough.
The point is, you have come across someone who you are interested in. Maybe it’s a passing fancy, maybe it’s something stronger, but the next step is crucial in discovering more about them.
2. making a background check (aka heading to wikipedia)
Who is this person? What has their journey been like? How tall are they?! You’ll probably jump over to Google, and start furiously reading their life history. And no, it’s not creepy… at least not yet. But soon you’ll start to say things like, “Huh! I’m actually two inches taller than Martin Freeman… he really is a cute little shortie.” And imagining yourself as their wife/husband. Then the real obsession begins.
3. obsessive-compulsive stalking & watching
IT’S TIME TO HEAD ON OVER TO LE YOUTUBE. You’re in a frenzy, watching every cute interview, awkward prank, and sexy, sexy, sexy ice bucket challenge. Crack vids will become your best friend, and you’ll probably watch at least three every night. This person has officially become inoculated into your bedtime routine, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
4. falling into A hole of despair and frustration
You know absolutely everything about this person. You follow them on all the medias. You’ve probably created a Tumblr blog dedicated to gifs of them. But you lack something… AND THAT SOMETHING IS THEM. You start to languish in agony, realizing that you will *probably* never meet this person. No matter how much fanfiction you have written, how many memes you’ve reblogged, they are out of your reach.
GAH! The pent-up feels! It’s overwhelming, and every day you’re reminded that they will never marry you. WHAT IS LIFE ANYMORE?!?!
5. eventually accepting the facts
It may take a week, it may take five months, but in the end, you’ll calm down. Your feelings will release, you won’t think of that person every day, and things will be smooth sailing.
Until you discover your next crush.
So that wraps up the first part of this mini-series. I hope this was funny? Relatable? Hashtag-worthy? IDK. But you can be assured that this is from personal experience, and I’ve gone through each of these stages. It’s been hard, but you know what they say: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Can you relate to these issues?! Tell me all of your crazy obsessions, becaue I like to know that there are people who are just as insane as I am. Haha, someday we’ll all be holed up in caves reading fanfiction. Until then, keep up the struggle! And keep falling in pointless, devouring love.